


If You Could See Me Now

by Monsieur_Grenouille



Category: Original Work
Genre: Based on a The Script Song, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsieur_Grenouille/pseuds/Monsieur_Grenouille
Summary: I never seem to get any alone time with that gravestone.
Kudos: 3





	If You Could See Me Now

_Dear Father,_

_I’m writing this down because I never get alone time with your grave. Whenever we visit you, everyone’s there at the same time. They don’t talk to you like I wish I could. There are just so many things I’d say. So many things the others can’t hear. I don’t believe in heaven, but I believe in ghosts. I believe you can see me writing this. Hell, you might be on the empty couch cushion next to me as I’m writing this._

_What do you think of me? Do you like what seven years can do to someone? I_ _’m still a Beatles, Green Day, and Coldplay addict, so I haven’t changed much in that area. I don’t like Oasis as much as you’d probably like me to, but that’s okay._

_Mom and Grandma always used to say I look like you, but I never believed them until I started my transition. I have your thick dark hair, your rough pale skin, and your snarky smile. I have your sense of humor, too. I don’t think my stepbrother or stepsister — or even the biological brother — understand the jokes I make. I know you would, though. Mom doesn’t think they’re funny, and I’m still trying to find her humor._

_what would you do if I told you I was transgender? Would you even believe me? I know that when you were alive, I was kind of a girly girl, but it’s not my fault. I had no choice in anything. People just thought I wanted girly stuff and dresses. Some relatives still think that. It hurts, you know? I like to think that you’re on my side, but i’ll never know for sure. At least tell me when I die._

_can a ghost be attractive? I want to die when I’m old, but I want my ghost to look 30. I know you wouldn’t be the best source for this information, since you died when you were 34 years old, but are there any good-looking ghosts that died when they were 63? This isn’t as important, but I’m still looking for an answer._

_How do I get grandma to stop telling me that I should believe in Jesus? This is a serious question of mine, since it gets annoying. I don’t want to be a Christian. I just don’t believe the same things. Apparently Grandma saw a medium who gave her the message that her boss wanted her to know that Jesus exists, and she’s been using that as evidence against me ever since. Why did she trust a biased Christian mortal who doesn’t even know Grandma’s boss? Grandma’s boss was an Atheist, dad. I bet that medium says the same thing to every customer. I don’t need to contact you in the spirit world. I know you’re proud from the way I’m turning out in life._

_I don’t want a response to this. I don’t want any otherworldly experiences. I don’t want to be extraterrestrial, I don’t want to be special. I just want to be a young, playful guitarist who’s trying to form a band like the one you were in. Except I want to make it farther than Virtual Einstein did. I want to be known._

_I guess I’ll try every so often to continue your life with my own._

_Love, Andy Scott David Fitzgerald_


End file.
